They laughed!                                                                    The Darod laughed!                                                           I wonder what made the Darod laugh?                                                                                              The Darod laughed because for the first time in their life they heard a voice and a vision with an Abgal accent that they had all pretended in all their life never existed!

They heard that accent, that voice, enunciating a vision that they had never expected to hear, of all places, on the BBC!

They heard the voice and the vision of the Abgal accented and announced and enunciated by one called Yelahow on the BBC!

And the Darod could not help but laugh!

After all, as they say, laughter is the best medicine!

Let them laugh!

The poor Darod devils!

If laughing will make it any easier for them to swallow their bitter medicine along with their false pride that caused their disgrace and downfall!

The Darod laughed because they heard the bitter truth and they could not believe their own ears!

They heard the rude and the rough voice of the Abgal!

A rude and a rough voice that doesn’t mince words;           

 that doesn’t know                                                        what Darod deceit is,                                                      what Darod decorum is,                                               what Darod devilomacy is!

They heard the rude and the rough voice of Abgal justice and of Abgal righteousness laced with the humor of the Abgal plain candor!

On the BBC!

They heard the Abgal truth and they could not believe their own ears!

The Darod are still in shock and in disbelief!

They are in deep denial for deep in the heart of every Darod is buried, is lodged the faith that one day soon they shall all return to Mogadishu to lord it once again over the hapless Hawiye! 

They are laughing now, asking themselves, “Was that really the voice of the Abgal, the voice of Yelahow on the BBC telling us to get lost;                                            reminding us how we were humbled;                                  how we were humiliated;                                                  how we were chased out of Mogadishu;                            reminding us of the hour of our dishonor,                           our disgrace,                                                                       and our defeat!

Was that really the voice of the Abgal tortoise torturing us once again by teaching us once again the most bitter of lessons we would really like to forget by shedding crocodile tears for the Somalia of yesteryear which we the Darod have destroyed!

Was that really the Abgal voice on the BBC reminding us once again how we had lost Xamar Cadde!

Robbing us once again of our hope of ever returning to Mogadishu in triumph and once again taming and ruling the unruly Hutu Hawiye!

Tolbeylai!

Where is the power                                                             that was once Darod?                                                       Where is the glory                                                              that was once called Darod?

Where is our Mogadishu where once our Darod farts were sweeter than the perfume of all of Arabia?

How did the power and the glory of the Darod pass on to the horrible Habar Kintir Hawiye who have banished us now from Mogadishu forever?”

For the first time and on the BBC, throughout the world, the deceitful & the demented Darod heard the truth from the Abgal!

From the Honorable Al-hajji Musse Soode Yelahow which is: Give up your pipedreams of ever setting foot once again in Hawiye territory to misrule us and mismanage the wealth of the Somali race!

For the last fifty years we the Abgal had been chanting,

O Darod, move away from my land!

And I don’t give a fuck

Whether you swim or take a boat!

Twelve years ago the Darod and their Papa Doc Afwayne were defeated and driven by force from Mogadishu and from all Hawiye territory!

Some fled by foot!

Some fled by tanks!

Some fled by Russian Migs!

Some fled by cars!

Some fled by lorries!

Some fled by trucks!

Some fled by land cruisers!

Some fled by hitchhiking!

Some fled by boats!

Some tried swimming and forgot how to swim and drowned!

On the beaches of Mombassa, their Darod dead bodies washed laden with American dollars!

On the BBC Musse Soode Yelahow reminded the Darod of this ignoble defeat, of this dreadful disgrace that they had brought upon themselves by abusing and misusing the humanity of the Hawiye for the last hundred years!

He reminded the Darod what they are: a defeated and a disgraced dreadful lot!

He reminded their leader, their hero, General Abdulllahi Yusuf, what he is: the punk of Puntland who should not try to wear shoes that he can’t fill!

Rer Mahad and their mad General are no match for the moriyan of  the Hawiye!

Beware of the wrath of the patient Abgal!

In Mogadishu, the Punk of Puntland is nothing but a dirty Darod who turned tail

like the coward he is!

Not only has Musse Soode dashed the wild and the wicked dreams of the Darod, he has also put the Habar Gidir (who are a day late and a dollar short; who are nothing but five minutes to their killing cousins, the Dirty Darod) in their proper place by reminding the world and the Americans in particular that the world is united right now to fight what is called in Arabic, Al-qaaida and in English, terrorism and in Somali, Habar Kintir! 

Mudane Al-hajji Musse Soode Yellahow tells it like it is! He calls them as he sees them!

His voice is Abgal!

His vision is vital to the healing of the Somali nation!

His message is the naked truth that will lead the Somali nation to peace & reconciliation!

You say, the Darod don’t like it, so what?

If they don’t like it, the Darod can lump it!

You say, the Darod are laughing even though they are not amused, so what?

What can the Darod do but laugh?

The Darod dog is dead!

The days of Darod are done!

The days of the Darod are gone!

This is a new day!

And Al-Hajji Mudane Musse Soode Yellahow is the new kid, the new voice, the new vision, on the block, on the BBC, on everywhere!

This Hajji is hot to trot!

The Darod are dead and cold!

The Darod are as dead as the dodo!

Long live the voice and the vision of Mudane Musse which is for every clan to be content containing itself in its natural habitat!

You don’t hear any Abgal moaning and pining away for Bossasso!

I advice the dirty Darod to laugh more but give up their fatal dear Darod delusion of ever returning to Wardheeglay to feast on Abgal Moofo & Maraq & Moxog & Massago & Wambe!

Now there is no Somali dream, it was brutally murdered by a dirty Darod called Afwayne!

Now it is every man and his crazy clan!

As Mudane Farah Gololay once succinctly said, “If you hear someone whispering, whimpering the mantra, Somaliyay, it is a dastardly Darod who has designs on power, on pelf, on bililiqsi, on lording it over all of us Somalis!”

 

Dear Darod, remember this: Once bitten twice shy!

And don’t you ever forget it.

And if you do, don’t worry, for you and your kind we have Al-hajji Mudane Musse Soode Yellahow who will remind you on the BBC in Toronto and in Timbuktu too!

Mahamud Siad Togane