Wargeyska Abaaji STN News Xamar BBC Laanta Af Som. BBC Laanta Baafinta   Africa World Tonight   Facus On Africa   USA Somali Radio   Denmark So. Radio Sweden So. Radio Radio S.L.Hargeysa   TV Djibuti News Radio Xamar Cadey SaveSomalia.org Banadir News BBC Hourly News BBC Hourly updated   Dalka News   Midnimo News   Qaranimo News   Codka Beesha News Codka So.Galbeed Marka Cadey News   Xamar Cadey			THE AVATAR OF THE SOMALI RACE by Mohamud Siad Togane togane@earthlink.net “ Islam began as a stranger and will become once more as a stranger. “ Prophet Muhammad(Peace Upon Him) In a land of Ahmeds Mahammads And Mahamoods There was one called Michael Mariano He was the only Muslim In a land of real mean Munafiqeen In a land of fake Muslims He was the only Christian In a land of so-called Muslims In sad Somalia The only real Muslim I had come across was A Christian Called Michael Mariano In exile I wondered as I wandered In Zambia In 1985 Beside the Zambezi River I met Michael Mariano (As the Russians say A hill never meets a hill But man is always meeting man!) Michael was then our man in Zambia Michael was then our Somali Ambassador to Zambia Michael welcomed all Somalis with open arms Michael hosted me during my entire sojourn in Zambia Michael must have read my mind For that afternoon After feeding me a feast Of a lavish meal Of roasted goat meat & rice Of papaya & bananas Of guava & mangoes He introduced the postprandial tidbits By declaring —I know we Somalis say A mouth That has feasted becomes shy A mouth That has dined well is rendered Blind Dumb Demure Diplomatic Pliable Agreeable So Togane Don’t be demure Don’t demure Don’t be diplomatic Leave Whatchamacallit What you call Devilomocy For the devil & his disciples Don’t be shy Don’t be pliable Don’t be agreeable Be like Mary Mary Quite contrary! Make your mouth meow Maya! Make your mouth meow Nyet! Like a Soviet sot Make your mouth meow Nay! Nay! Don’t be mealy-mouthed Do let me lead you As a gracious host would lead an honored guest: Pray do tell me What was the reaction of the Somali intelligentsia Languishing In sad exile In cold North America Upon hearing That I had accepted This comfortable cozy cushy exile Under the scorching African sun This Somali ambassadorial sinecure >From Papa Doc Afwayne >From the hyena of Garbaharay >From the dirty Darod Dictator >From our superb savage Somali sorcerer? I beg of you I adjure you In the name of our friendship Speak of what they say Nothing extenuate. —Michael They say Et tu, Michael! They say That you had let the Somali nation down They say That like the Faqash You had betrayed your own Isaaq clan family They say That you could have said No To the Darod donkey of a despot As General Mahammad Abshir had They say That you had ruined Your reputation Your good name Your impeccable credentials As a true Somali patriot They say That now Afwayne dare laugh & say After Michael There is no Somali of significance left That I cannot corrupt That I cannot co-opt That I cannot compromise That I cannot make co-operate That I cannot make go along with me to get along in this silly Somali life They say That Papa Doc Despot now believes That every Somali has Either a price Or A breaking point They say That now Afwayne can wink & swagger & boast As LBJ had And say of you: I got his prick in my pocket! His balls too! As LBJ had said of Hubert Humphrey Pray Michael Tell me What do you say now To what the Somali intelligentsia say Whenever your name comes up? What the devil has the Darod despot done to you To make you toe his Marehan-Ogaden-Dhulbahante line? Michael What dare you say in your defense now? —Togane I dare say this If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from Somali felicity awhile And in this harsh hateful Somali mad MOD world Draw thy breath in pain To tell my story Before The rest is silence I dare say What I had dared say To the Marehan tin-horn tyrant! Say to all the Somalis you see In sad exile In the Somali Diaspora That I had accepted the dictator’s deal Upon these three conditions Which I believed the dreadful dictator Would never be able to countenance Let alone accept But which he had To my utter amazement It is true You can never predict What will issue Out of the Somali bush Or Out of the Somali brain These are the conditions That I had laid down This is how I am making the Somali gangster Run my own gauntlet & Dance to these not so loony tunes (1) That I won’t brook Any input Any interference Any impertinence Any gaff Any guff Any guffaw >From the blind mouth of the Marehan >From his foreign minister >From that Marehan moron >From Buluq Balaq Bililqsi >From Humpty Dumb Dumpty >From the rapist of every Somali woman Who sought his signature for her passport (2) That I am going to be a Somali Ambassador To serve the Somali people For the express interest of the Somali nation That whatever happens Between Papa Afwayne & my Issaaq clan-family Is none of my fucking business It is Afwayne’s own lookout Always remember I am always on the lookout for the national interest So I just won’t get involved In that blindman’s bluff In that blind mare’s nest (3) That I will serve the Somali people as their ambassador Somewhere east of Suez Where the palm and not the pine holds sway Definitely Not in cold Canada Not in Our Lady of the Snows Not anywhere in the world where it snows My old Somali bones cannot bear That numbing cold dreadful dust That would freeze the marrow in my old bones That is why I am here in Zambia Doing what no other Somali Ambassador dare do Serve my Somali people No matter what crazy clan they claim to come from! Just one recent example will do To point this moral To adorn this tale Togane See that umbrella tree In the middle of this Somali diplomatic mission compound In this bend of the Zambezi river A fortnight ago Three days in a row I saw a Somali elder sitting under that umbrella tree On the fourth day I couldn’t take it anymore I invited him in Sat him down exactly where you are sitting now To hear his story To hear him say —I am a Somali I need a passport It is the fourth day… —I heard enough I walked him to the Embassy offices In the heat of the African killer noon sun And gave him the passport And invited him back in for dinner He was beside himself with joy He placed his right hand upon my head And began to mumble To shower me with spit-spiced blessings And recited the Fatiha over me: In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate! Praise be to Allah, who the three worlds made. The Merciful, the Compassionate. The King of the Day of Fate. Thee alone do we worship & of Thee alone do we ask aid. Guide us to the path that is straight. The path of those whom thy love is great, Not those in whom is hate, Nor they that deviate. Amen. He spat on his palm And poured out All the blessings of the treasures of Fatiha Upon my Christian head He was over fond of the Fatiha The chapter of treasure He was an honest Abgal He was from your clan He was penniless Anxious to get back home to Somalia After wondering After wandering All over East Africa The Abgal tortoise had his fill of wanderlust I gave him all the money he needed to get back home Whereupon he began to bubble over With the Fatiha upon his lips All over again All over me Showering me with blessings Laden & leavened with his spittle Finally I could not contain myself I burst out: —Look here My Abgal Friend I am not a Muslim I am a Christian Spare me your Fatihas! I am what you Somalis call Gaal Madow! A black infidel A coon A kaffir A cur My name is not Mahammad My name is Michael Mariano The tyrant who made it impossible for all of us Somalis To live In our country In peace Is Muslim As you know He is called Mahammad He is named after your prophet of Al Islam! The guy who denied you Your passport in Mogadishu Is Muslim His name is Noor Bithaar The guy who denied you Your passport In Nairobi Kenya Is Muslim His name is Mahammad too The guy who denied you Your passport In Kampala Uganda Is Muslim His name is Mahammad too The guy who denied you Your passport In Dar es Salaam Tanzania Is Muslim His name is Mahammad too The guy who has been giving you the runaround Here in Lusaka Zambia For the last three days Is Muslim His name is Mahammad too Don’t waste your Fatiha upon me I am a Christian A follower of The Christ In whose name I try to do unto others As I would have them do unto me I repeat My name is Michael Mariano I have done for you What I have done In the name of my Lord & Master Jesus Christ Who teaches me daily Whispering in my soul Verily, I say unto you Inasmuch as you have done it Unto one of the least of these my brethren You have done it unto me. Brother man Mahammad Somali Abgal Go in peace May your journey back home to Somalia be A safe one A peaceful one Godspeed! —Brother Michael Mariano Now I beg of you Now I adjure you In the name of all that is good In the name of all that is decent In the name of all that is desirable In the name of all that is holy In the name of all that is human Do not become a Muslim Lest you become As merciless As malicious As mendacious As murderous As mindless As mean As Munaafaq As my fellow Muslims! Mohamud Togane			Newspapers Hiiraan News Ayaamaha News Somali Press News Himilo News   Ra'yi Press   Outside Somalia   True Somalia.Net   Dayniile News Arlaadii News Somaali Globe News   AllPuntland News Al-Qur'an Juz 26 Tafsiirka Qaaf Tafsiirka Al-Xujuraat Tafsiirka Al-Axqaaf Tafsiirka Al-Jaathiyah   Tafsiirka Al-Fatx   Tafsiirka Muxammad   Tafsiirka AdDukhaan   Qalbiga Insaanka Axkaamta Soonka Aafada Carabka   Maalinta Qiyaamo   Xamar Cadey

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