General Mahammad Siad Barre held a state funeral

  and publicly buried

the Somali bogeyman

the Somali bugbear

the Somali Bete noir

the monster called

Moloch

the monster Somalis call

clanism

or

tribalism

or

qabeel

but as Somalis soon learned

the death of Somali crazy clanism was highly exaggerated!

Afwayne wanted to kill and bury and ban every Somali clan except

Marehan

Ogaden

Dhulbahante

Papa Doc was especially keen on

murdering and burying and banning

the Macavity Majerten

whom he hated and feared

Abdi Dahir

A Hawiye friend

now living in Virginia

like almost all Somalis wanted desperately

to believe that Afwayne was not lying about

the death and the burial of the Somali qurun called qabeel

Abdi had two dogs

and to show

how much he agreed with Afwayne

how much he hated

how much he despised Qabeel

he called one dog

Darod

and the other one

Hawiye

when the Darod dictator heard this

from Dafle

he was intrigued

and when he saw  Abdi Dahir  at Bar Jazeera

drinking tea with Dhalbaas

he took Abdi Dahir aside

dismissing Son of Perdition

and questioned Abdi Dahir closely:

---Abdi Dahir, You are a great Somali patriot!

A great Somali revolutionary!

Is there anything I can do for you?

---Mr. President, thank you. I have everything I need:

a great job,

a great family

and I am most happy to live

in peace

in the revolutionary Somalia over which you so wisely preside!

I could not ask for more!

What more could I possibly want?

I am a free Somali!

---But Abdi, tell me this:

those dogs of yours:

is it really true that you called one

Darod

and the other one

Hawiye

---Yes, Mr. President

---Ok:

which one is male

and which one is female?

---Mr. President, they are both male.

---I see.

But Abdi, do tell me;

don't be shy

I am really curious

I want to know the real facts of life regarding your dogs

you know

how dirty dogs can be!

how ornery they can get!

how horny they can get!

in short, Abdi, this is what I would really like to know:

Who whom?

Who dominates whom?

Who mounts whom?

Does Darod mount Hawiye

Or

Does Hawiye mount Darod?

Who fucks whom?

Does Darod fuck Hawiye

Or

Does Hawiye fuck Darod?

Speak feely

Here we are adults

Let us not be hypocrites

Like silly Somalis

come on, Abdi

Don't disappoint your President

I promise you

You won't get into trouble for telling me the truth

Who fucks whom?

Does Darod bugger Hawiye?

Or

Is it Hawiye that buggers Darod?

  ---Mr. President,

Darod is gay!

Hawiye is gay too!

The two dogs are gay!

---You don't say!

I will be damned!

Hot dog!

Hot dogs!

This is even more interesting than Dafle and I had thought!

Is it possible?

Both dogs faggots!

Fiddlesticks!

This is just too rich!

This is just  too strange!

Still, the question boils down to

Who whom?

Who mounts whom?

Who fucks whom?

Is Darod the fucker?

Or

Is Darod the fuckee?

Who is the top dog?

Who takes the missionary position?

Who is supine?

Is Hawiye the fucker?

Or

Is Hawiye the fuckee?

Is Darod the done-to?

Or

Is Darod the doer?

Abdi, don't hold out on me!

Speak up!

I can't hear you!

By God, I shall find out the truth even if I have to ask

Cirde, Dafle, and Jilicow

My own top Darod and Hawiye dogs to beat it out of you!

Come on,

Spit it out!

----Mr. President,

Darod and Hawiye play the Italian game

Tocco per tocco!

Darod and Hawiye take turns fucking each other!

Today Darod fucks Hawiye!

Tomorrow Hawiye fucks Darod!

They are such a happy couple!

Always copulating!

Always fucking each other!

Always frolicking!

Always fornicating!

Always fucking!

So happy!

Mr. President,

You should see them fucking!

-----Afwayne shed tears of high hilarity

and bade Abdi to give a loving tender care to the two zany dogs

called Darod and Hawiye!

Mohamud Togane