3rd
Fisherman: I marvel at how the fishes live in the sea.
1st
Fisherman: Why, as men do a-land;
the
great ones eat up the little ones.
—Shakespeare’s
Pericles
As
we sail through
our
Somali Seas of Sordidness
our
Somali Slough of Despond
with
battalions of sorrow
with
our wounded Somali Spirit
sagging
with
many a sigh
with
no relief in
sight
we
can’t help but encounter
this
pretty kettle of Somali fish
we
can’t help but encounter
countless
kinds of
comical
clannish
foolish
fish
that
make us guffaw with laughter
to
keep us from weeping all the time
like
fish out of water.
I
Mud
fish sling dirt
on
other fish
in
order to keep themselves clean
the
Issaq
alias
the
Iidoar
are
mud fish
for
they are the most clannish queer fish
who
claim to eat no fish
who
yell at fish eaters
“Speak
not to me with that mouth
which
eateth fish!”
who
are still fugly fish
for
they go around the world
with
plenty of other fish to fry
for
they are always loose fish
who
always drink like fish
who
always tipple in the deep
who
always chew jaad in the dark dens of the deep
who
always gerish geisha mermaids of the deep
who
always swear to be British
who
always swear to be the long lost orphans
of
the English Queen
the
Issaq
alias
the
Iidoar
are
mud fish
for
they always go around the world
with
plenty of other fish to fry
for
they are always loose fish
who
let loose
on
every Somali Klan
who
dump
on
every Somali Klan
who
sling dirt
on
every Somali Klan
in
order to keep themselves clean
badmouthing
the South
boasting
look
how
great we are
how
superior we are
to
the rest of the Somali nation
boasting
look
how
fine we are
look
how
foul
how
fucked-up
how
foolish the Faqash of the silly South are.
II
Guppies
are insecure frightened fish
with
mighty mouths
always
in motion
always
on guard
always
on the move
always
on the make
Guppies
are always being gobbled up by bigger fish
All
the clans
that
are always deemed minorities
that
are always regarded
as
risible minorities
as
visible minorities
that
are always designated as Gûn
that
are always classified as coons
that
are always fingered as small fry
that
are always given the finger
that
are always given the short end of the shitty clannish stick
that
are always given short shrift
that
are always given the bum’s rush
that
are always crucified as cunts
that
are always neutered as niggers
are
doggone gûn guppies.
III
Barracuda
fish
are
the most selfish fish
for
they
always
knock you upside the head
always
knock you out of the way
always
get in your way
always
never go away
always
are in your face
the
Hawiye
are
balayo barracuda baraculo fanculo fish
for
Allah created the Hawiye
the
maddest of all mankind
(O
Hawiye
whenever
I hear our nasty name
I
share in its shame)
IV
V
Crabs
seesaw sides
Craps
caper from side to side
Craps
career from side to side
Craps
careen from side to side
yesterday
they straddled the fence
today
they are on your side of the fence
tomorrow
they are on the other side of the fence
Jalle
Jelle’s Hawadle
Qurunle
Qanyare’s Murasade
Irr-de’s
lackeying lackadaisical Layl-kasse
are
nothing but cunning crabs
these
nincompoop namby-pamby nobodies
fancy
themselves
believe
themselves to be somebodies
these
are the fools
these
are the fall guys
these
are the matante
these
are the underwear
for
any side
for
one reason
for
one season
declaimed
“the Murusade are my
matante
I
put them on when I want
And
I put them off when I want.
VI
Flounder
are funny fish
that
have both eyes on one side of their heads
they
can only see things one way
they
can only say things one way
they
can only ride one hobbyhorse
they
can only dance one dance
one
song
one
tune
one
rune
one
theme
one
rime
one
reason
one
season
they
only know of
one
time
one
tide
one
turn
VII
their
Lord Heehaw
their
Nuruddin Farah
Their
Neustadt Laureate
Their
wannabe Nobel Laureate
Their
wannabe Soyinka
called
Woe
is us Ogaden!
X
This
is the Habar Gidir KKK
who
burned down these three pillars of
Truth
Peace
Justice
upon
which our forefathers have founded the whole Somali nation
and
then sold them as charcoal
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