“As
my political credo and guiding philosophy in
this clannish Somali labyrinth of countless crimes that
pass for politics,
I
believe implicitly and explicitly
in
the trinity of this winning and unbeatable combination;
in
these three awesome artifices that begin with the letter “M”:
(1)
MAJERTEN (2) MARAYKAN (3) MONEY!
That
was the late Omar Ma’alin
who
was of the Ogaden clan and the Somali Ambassador to the United Nations
who
made that very interesting and astute declaration which now enjoys
the
force of a proverb and of a truism in Somali political circles.
Let
us cast a cold eye on each of his unholy trinity:
(1:
Majerten): On October 10, 2004,
Somalia gave a landslide victory to a Majerten, Abudullahi Yusuf, as the new
President of the Somali nation.
Abdullahi
Yusuf has been patiently waiting for this victory for more than four decades!
He
outlasted Afwayne, Egal, Aideed, Ainanshe, Gabere
and
all the other contenders for power!
He
is the only one
the
only credible Jihadist for power left standing on our Somali stage!
His
maxim is:
D’abord,
il faut durer!
What
a patience!
Ina
Yay has the patience of the Prophet Job!
What
a perseverance!
What
a prowess!
That
is what I have always referred to
as
the moxie of the Macavity Majerten!
Talk
of the luck of the Irish Majerten!
Papa
Doc Afwayne
who
was a master of everything Somali and clannish
always
believed that one day he will be unhorsed by a Majerten!
It
finally happened:
Majerten’s
Ina Yay unhorsed the futtocks of Afwaynissimo without Afwayne,
but
led by the brainless Humpty-Dumpty-Darod-Dayoos called Buluq-Buluq!
Ina
Yay unhorsed the rump-remnant
of
Afwayne’s MODUS OPERANDI-cum-M(arehan) O(gaden)D(hulbahante Troika
that
was trying so futilely to capture Somalia once again!
This
is poetic justice!
For
the Majerten were the first Somalis
who
blew the whistle on the evil machinations of Afwayne and his MOD!
For
the Majerten were the first Somali victims of the Somali Papa Doc
and
his Dafle terrible Tonton Macoutes
because
they were the first to resist the terror and the tyranny of Afwayne.
That
is why the Majerten bore the brunt of the wrath of Afwaynissimo!
For
Afwayne believed that eventually his Mad MOD will one day be easily
outsmarted
and outclassed and put out to pasture
(like
a superannuated ass)
by
M multiplied to the power of 3 or
MAJERTEN
MARAYKAN MONEY!
I
believe this augurs well for the future of Somalia.
I
believe our Somali Majerten past is prologue to the present.
The
best years of our recent Somali modern history,
the
most peaceful years of our recent Somali history,
the
most hopeful heyday JFK Camelot years of Somalia
were
the years of the sixties
when
Somalia enjoyed Pax Majertinya-Americana
under
the suzerainty of the Salayman brothers;
when
Rizaaq and Rashiid and Abshir,
all
three of the blessed Majerten clan,
were
at the helm of Somalia.
The
brilliant English Social anthropologist,
I.
M. Lewis,
who
is
neither
of the Majerten
nor
of the Moablen clan,
who
has dedicated his life to the study
of
the soul & the psyche of the Somali,
called
Rizaaq,
one
of the most colorful,
the
most charismatic,
and
the most courageous sons of Somalis,
also
“…the most effective Somali Prime Minister” (1964-1967).
I
concur.
Alas!
After
exactly forty years,
the
answer to that historical question my clan, the Abgal, sang
in
that famous calypso song,
the
terse tercet
that
they had chanted in 1964
while
dancing in a frenzy
of
clannish hurt and humiliation and anger
on
the streets of their city, their Mogadishu,
all
the way to the Lido beach,
can
now be answered with authority;
but
first,
here
is the calypso song
and
the serious question
that
the Abgal prancing braves
full
of beans and piss and vinegar then posed:
Is
the rest just toast?
The
answer is:
the
rest turned out to be unmitigated disaster.
Alas,
at least one can eat toast for breakfast!
But
what can one do with one disaster after disaster?
Since
these sons of Heaven, Rasheed and Rizaaq and Abshir,
since
their Majerten mandate from Heaven
that
we Somalis had once enjoyed,
all
the rest,
all
the men of disaster
who
ruined us and Somalia,
from
Afwayne and Aideed
to
Bad Boy (Ina Salad sad Prozac Boy) and the greedy Billy goat from Garowe
and
the vulture of Las Anod, alias Ali Khaleef Galayrd,
to
Ina Salad Boy’s erstwhile haughty piss-proud Prime Minister,
who
failed miserably
despite
all those millions of Maraykan dollars
that
he had stolen
as
one of the chief architects of Afwayne’s kleptocracy;
Galayrd,
in a vain search of the Holy Grail of Somali politics:
Majerten
Maraykan Money,
even
married Maryan, a nubile Majerten maiden and sleeps Majerten every night
hoping
that some of the Majerten mojo and magic would rub off from Maryan
unto
his Dhulbahante derriere—so far to no avail!!!.
He
remains,
despite
the nightly ministrations of Maryan,
a
dirty Darod Dafle Dhulbahante!
All
the pretenders,
all
the Majerten wannabes since Rizaaq and Rashiid and Abshir turned out
to
be worse than toast:
Alas,
at least one can eat toast for breakfast!
For
decades Afwayne and his MOD-Hawiye-Eedoar heirs forced us Somalis
to
breakfast on bitterness!
Since
Rasheed and Rizaaq and Abshir,
all
the rest from Afwayne to the heir-Ayr Prozac Boy turned out to be just
boonsho:
husks, hucksters,
hecklers, hustlers, hooligans, heels, hellions, & has-beens!
(2):
Maraykan: Now that Somalia has a Majerten Head of State,
the
Americans, bearing countless gifts of dollars for Somalia, are not very far
behind!
The
Americans are already jumping now on the Abdullahi Yusuf’s Majerten band
wagon because he is the only one that can credibly guarantee that the crazy
clerics of Somalia
will
stay clear of politics,
will
stay toothless and confined and contained in their mosques
where
they belong!
Ina
Yay had already proven to the world
that
he is the master of his own Majerten house in Puntland,
that
he is the number one Nemesis of the Mad Mullahs of Somalia
who
covet earthly power and entertain the foolish notion and fatude
that
they can turn Somalia into an Islamic republic.
Just
like Iran & with the help of Iran.
When
it comes to dealing with the scourge of AlQaida and Islamo-fascism,
Abdullah
Yusuf has no equal, bar none!
When
the mad Mullahs of AlQaida’s Al-Itihad tried to shoot their way into power
in
Majertinya, Abdullahi Yusuf wiped them off the face of the earth!
He
hid them from the earth without the help of the Americans!
That
is why the Americans cannot wait to meet Ina Yay
who
is
their
main man in Somalia,
their
main man against the universal struggle against terrorism.
I
admire Ina Yay because he believes and practices
what
Jesus, the Mighty Word of Allah, taught:
“Render
therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s;
and
unto God the things that are God’s.”
In
another words Abdullahi Yusuf considers the slogan,
(Islam
deen wa doala!)
to
be what it is exactly:
Nonsense!
And
against Allah
and
against Islam
and
against common sense;
it
is the most mindless,
the
most malicious,
the
most pernicious heresy of Islam!
Just
like Marxism & Leninism and their offspring, Communism,
are
defeated and discredited and disgraced heresies of the Christian faith,
it
is also just a matter of time before this dreadful demented doctrine
of
Islam deen wa doala
will
be discredited, disgraced and dealt the resounding defeat it so deserves.
With
the help of America,
I
have no doubt
that
Abdullah Yusuf will make sure
that
the hydra-headed monster of political Islam
never
rears its fugly head again
to
find a harbour and a haven
in
the Horn of Africa.
The
majority of the Somalis
who
are moderate Moslems agree with the Son of the Jackal:
they
don’t want their religion, Islam,
to
be hijacked by pious power-pimps
and
by a few power-hungry hooligans
for
no Somali Moslem wants
the
House of Allah to be equated with
the
House of Whores, Hirelings, Has-beens, and Hogs
also
known as the morticians-cum-politicians of MOAG and HOAG!
(3)
Money:
With
Abdullahi Yusuf and his Majerten once again wielding power in Somalia,
with
a Majerten once again in Villa Somalia,
I
have no doubt that it will rain money ( bashbash iyo barwaaqo ) in
Mogadishu!
By
gorry
by
jing
by
gee
by
gosh
by
gum!
America
will soon come calling upon Ina Yay and upon his Somalia!
You
will soon see Ina Yay in the White House dancing with Laura Bush!
And
bending the ear of Dubya!
Who
can resist when America decides to seduce!
For
America can seduce even God!
“Yes,
America has that seductive power—
the
power of Dollarism!”
Go
ask Ahmed Karzai of Afghanistan!
When
Mad Aideed and his invading Hawiye Habar Digir hordes
were
welcomed by the mindless Mudulood
into
Mogadishu to drive the Darod Majerten citizens out of the very Mogadishu
that
was their home,
that
they had helped to build & prosper,
an
Abgal,
a
wise old Abgal wag, cracked a crack
that
gave our whole Qat nation a comic relief
from
the Habar Dugaag Horror show:
Teen
Aboor! Timir Seeb! Talo Huma!
Sew
the thorny Cacti!
Uproot
the Darod Date Palm Trees!
What
a Crazy council!
Sew
the wind!
Reap
the whirlwind!
What
a crazy council!
Boot
out the Darod Macavity Majerten!
Bring
in the Bantu Hutu Habar Dugaag!
What
a bootless balderdash bringdown!
Everybody
cracked up,
realizing
their monumental madness in welcoming Mad Aideed
and
his invading gûn Habargidir goons.
Now
that we Somalis have a Majerten Head of State,
Somalia
has a new lease on life!
Somalia
chose life and rejected endless unnecessary needless dying!
Somalia
is no longer a Charnel House!
Now
the Majerten date palm trees are beginning to blossom once again in Mogadishu;
the
flowers appear again on the Somali earth;
the
time of the singing of birds in Somalia is come again;
and
the voice of the Macavity Majerten Jackal
is
heard once again in our land.
And
this morning every Somali from Bossasso to Boston is singing:
Te
Deum!
AAAMEEN!
AMEN!
MAANTA
MAANTA MAANTA!
MADAHAY
BANNAANI MANTA!
Every
Somali from Bossasso to Boston is having Majerten dates for breakfast this
morning except the teen-totaler Habar Dugaag
who
are too teed off to taste and feast on the Majerten timir!
But
give them a few days of Majerten Grace & Patience
to
get used to their Hutu Hawiye humiliation,
to
get used to the overwhelming triumph of the Macavity Majerten, their Nemesis,
who
once again stood up to deliver all of Somalia
from
the yoke of Afwaynissimo without Afwayne,
But
give them a few days of Majerten Grace & Patience
to
get used to the overwhelming triumph of the Macavity Majerten, their Nemesis,
who
once again stood up to deliver all of Somalia
from
the yoke of the Hutu Hawiye yahoos & yokels!
Give
Osman Atto and the Salad Prozac Boy a few days of Majerten Grace &
Patience!
And
I guarantee, in no time, you will hear them
and
their Habargidir homeboys singing the praises
of
the sweet timir of the Intrepid Macavity Majerten
louder
than this Proud son of the gun of the Abgal!
Mahamud Siad Togane
