It
was November the 4th 1997
in
Toronto
in
a donut shop
primarily
patronized by the Hawiye,
when
a lonesome-lost-one-eyed-elderly Laylkasse Darod dude
waddled
in and sat down
amongst
the Hawiye crowd of customers.
What
do you think the Hawiye were doing
in
that Toronto donut shop
in
1997?
They
were engaged
as
usual
in
their prime time pastime
of
Darod-bashing;
of
lamenting
how
the whole world had gone to a Darod hell
in
a hand basket;
of
how the world had gone to the dogs
on
account of the dreadful Darod!
Led
by a loony called
General
Wow
and
encouraged by
Qurunle
Qanyare
who
brayed on the BBC:
Array
Darod Dolad iyo Darajo
midna
uma Haayo!
E
Haddow raaciyonimo rabo
raali
aan ka ahe
Xamar
ha ku so noqdaano!
Translation:
I
have neither Honor nor the Presidency of the Somali State
to
bestow upon the Darod;
but
they are most welcome
to
come back to Mogadishu
provided
they are willing to be
our
Hawiye minions & myrmidons,
our
Hawiye lackeys and lickspittles!
In that Toronto donut shop,
in 1997,
at the height of Hawiye hypocrisy and hype and
hallucination,
at the zenith of Hawiye zealotry,
the Hawiye were having the time of their lives;
they were in their hog heaven;
they were enjoying their best time of bililiqsie
which is rape & rapine,
which is pillaging & banditry!
Bililiqsie is the Hawiye’s sole and
significant contribution
to the political discourse of Somalia!
Bililiqsie is the Hutu Hawiye way
of being!
of governance!
In that Toronto donut shop,
in 1997,
the Hawiye were singing
the all-time hits of the loony tunes of their
General Wow!
They did not stop singing their bloody blues
when that lonely-lost-elderly Laylkasse
one-eyed Darod dude
doddered onto their turf.
As a matter of fact,
they began then to rub it in!
They begin to rag him and nag him
and bully him and bother him and bug him
and pester him and guy him and tease him
and tear him apart and torment him and terrify
him
and hurt him and humiliate him mercilessly!
Watch out
when the gûn Hawiye cowards & coons with
Kalashnikovs
get the upper hand over you!
Not a single Hawiye,
including me,
I am sorry to report
went to the aid & comfort
of that lonely- lost-elderly-Laylkasse-one-eyed
and put upon Darod dude
who dramatically broke his silence
by standing tall and singing this solo
which shamed and silenced
all of his Hawiye harassers;
which brought down the Hawiye house of cards:
Tixsi
sahana!
Dorshaan
kabtana!
Danyer
fardaleh!
Damero
lô-dhalai!
Darod
lahooray!
Hawiye
doaladnimo donaaayah!
Waa
duni dhamaate
balmaan
daysto hadalkayga!
Imagine
if you will
A fly
manipulating skillful military maneuvers!
Imagine
if you will
A
dung beetle declaiming to be a Captain!
Imagine
if you will
A
monkey high on a high horse being hailed!
Imagine
if you will
Donkeys
siring holy cows!
Imagine
if you will
Darod
being denied their divine right to rule Somalia!
Imagine
if you will
Hawiye
gûn desiring to have dominion over us gob
Darod!
It
is a phantasmagoric world!
It
is an unreal world!
I
better cease & desist from speaking!
I
better return to my Darod long sullen silence!
That Darod dude’s name
who sang the above solo
that turned the tables upon
his Hawiye harassers,
that knocked some sense
into
all the Hawiye knuckleheads
is
Hassan Egal Farah.
The Darod are soon coming
back to their Mogadishu homes and hearths
to give a wise leadership
& statesmanship to all of Somalia.
All thanks and praise is
due to Allah
who guided the Hawiye
yahoos & yokels
of the Somali parliament in
Kenya
To
cease & desist from being dogs in the manger!
To
hand over the Presidency of Somalia to a Darod Majerten.
To
all hail the power of Ina Yay’s name!
To prostrate fall before
Abdullahi Yusuf!
To bring forth the royal diadem, and crown Ina Yay Lord of all.
To bring forth the royal diadem, and crown him Lord of all.
To
extol the stem of Darod Ishmael’s Rod, and crown Him Lord of all.
To extol the Darod seed of Somalia’s chosen race
Who ransomed us Somalis from the gûn Hutu
Hawiye fall!
Let
every tribe and every tongue before him prostrate fall
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
And shout in universal song the crownèd Lord of all.
All
Somalis are now relieved!
All
Somalis are now laughing!
I
invite my Hirab Habar Gidir brothers & sisters
to
join the laughter and the celebrations
of
the crowning of Ina Yay by all of Somalia!
Remember:
There is nothing worse than a sore loser!
Remember:
A sore loser loses for all time & eternity!
We
Hawiye won the Somali civil war;
no
Darod dare deny that;
but
the Habar Gidir Yahoos & Yokels
somehow
snatched
this
ignoble defeat
out
of the jaws of that glorious Hawiye Victory!
The
Habar Gidir
in
their bililiqsi,
in
their frenzied greed
to
get everything for themselves,
forgot
that
time & tide wait for nobody!
that
time & tide won’t always be
on
their side;
forgot
to
seize the time;
forgot
that
There
is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which, taken at the flood, leads to fortune;
Omitted,
all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows, and in miseries
What
the Habar Gidir forgot
in
their greed
to
get everything
only
for themselves
is
that
all
politics is local!
That
in politics
the
name of the game is
compromise
& consensus.
They
proceeded
to
dig their own political graves
by
destroying their own Hutu Hawiye confederacy!
By
attacking
like
cancer
their
very own Hawiye body politic!
They
attacked and alienated every Hawiye clan constituency
that
contributed to their victory
over
the Darod-MOD:
they
attacked and pillaged the Murusade and branded them
cowardly
“Kuwaits!”
They
invaded and attempted to colonize the Hawadle
in
their stronghold, Belet Wayne;
they
attempted to run the Abgal,
the
cockney of Mog,
out
of their own Mogadishu goaf!
The
Abgal
who
are now still dug in,
in
their impregnable redoubts
of
Karaan & Kaysanay!
The
Habar Gidir visited
death
and destruction
upon
all the clans of Baydhabo
where
the capital of the Third Republic of Somalia
is
soon going to be located
primarily
because
there
are no Habar Gidir coons with Kalashnikovs
running
around in Baydhabo!
Unshakable
Shattigadood,
the
hero of the Rahanwayn Resistance,
kicked
all the Ill-Jex invaders out of Baydhabo!
The
same fate of ignominy awaits the Ill-Jex
who
are now occupying by force
the
best lands of our Somali patrimony:
Afgoye,
Marka, Brava, Jilib, Jamama, and Kismayo!
The
Habar Gidr never intended to rule Somalia;
they
were interested only
in
Bililiqsie,
in
Rape & Rapine,
in
Pillage & Banditry!
It
is now no use
rehashing
the lost opportunities of the Habar Gidir and their Hawiye.
I
can hear now the heart-wrenching regretful cry of every Hawiye;
I
can hear now the lament of every Hawiye heart:
“You
know,
We
could have been contenders.
We
could have had some class.
Just
like the Darod Macavity Majerten!"
We
could have been somebodies
Just
like the Darod Macavity Majerten!
Well,
if
wishes were horses
all
Hawiye beggars
like
us
would
be riding high right now
like
the gob Macavity Moxie Majerten!
But by now,
it is evident
that the epitaph
of all our Hawiye political
aspirations
is:
Of
all sad words
Of
tongue and pen
The saddest are these –
It
might have been."
Yes!
It
might have been us Hawiye!
Rather
than them Darod!
But
by now,
it
is evident that
at
the two-year long Somali political chess tournament in Kenya,
the
Darod have won back all and then some
of
all that they had ever lost
at
the Somali civil war battle-fields!
Again
I say to all the Hawiye
and
particularly to the Habar Gidir,
let
us not be sore losers!
Remember:
Sore losers lose for all time & eternity!
Remember:
the Darod are not shi-shay-ye!
Remember:
They are not enemy alien honky Kaffir infidels!
I
also want to remind the Darod
not
to gloat over
our
political Hawiye ignoble and senseless and self-inflicted defeat.
I
warn the Darod not to rub it in!
Not
in this hour!
For
this is the cruelest hour of all the Hawiye hours
I
have ever drawn a breadth!
My
Darod compatriots: A word to the wise is enough!
I
adjure all of our Darod compatriots to be wise!
I adjure our brand new Somali President:
Abdullahi Yusuf Ahmed
To
draw a circle that does not shut any Somali clan out —
that does not consider any Somali clan a thing to flout.
But to have the Love and the wit to win:
And draw a circle that takes every Somali clan in!
I
also want to remind the Darod
that
they need us Hawiye
to
welcome them back to Mogadishu!
I
also remind the Darod
that
they need us Hawiye
to
give them our sovereign consent
so
they can
once
again
rule
Somalia!
Without
Hawiye,
the
Darod are not worth
a
continental damn
and
vice versa!
This
is the time to bury the hatchet with the Darod!
This
is the time to smoke the peace pipe with the Darod!
This
is the time to stand on the foot of Peace!
This
is the time to dance the dance of Peace!
Another
civil strife is out of the question!
Another
protracted civil war is not an option!
We
Hawiye must needs remember
that
we could not defeat the Darod
even
when we found him
on
our Somali shores
for
the first time,
a
refugee from Arabia,
all
alone,
naked
and hungry and thirsty
and
so vulnerable and up in a tree!
Just
like that Hawiye cowardly crowd
in
that Toronto donut shop
in
1997
could
not defeat
that
lonely-lost-elderly-Laylkasse one-eyed Darod dude
who
doddered onto their turf!
Now
that there is a Darod in every Hawiye woodpile, it is impossible!
Now
that there is a Darod blood running in every Hawiye vein, it is suicidal!
Darod
is now Somalia!
That
is why the death of any Somali,
Darod
or Dir,
diminishes
us all Somalis!
SO
HABAR
GIDIR: DON’T BE SORE LOSERS!!
BECAUSE SORE LOSERS LOSE FOR GOOD!
JOIN THIS
SOMALI MAJERTEN BANDWAGON OF LOUD LAUGHTER!
JOIN THIS
SOMALI MAJERTEN VICTORY CELEBRATION!
In
this cunning clever victory
of
the moxie
of
the Macavity Majerten
to
which I am inviting you and every Somali
to
celebrate,
the
winner is our homeland, Somalia!
So
Somalia!
Hanolato!
Mahamud
Siad Togane
